Last week, Tommy lost a friend. Not ever a good situation but in this case, it was the worst. T was bathing the boys on Tuesday night after a nice, relaxing family night, when the call came in from his parents. His best friend's brother had committed suicide. He was only 25.
Tommy is understandably shaken. He had known him for many, many years and had always enjoyed his personality. An awesome mix of humor and kindness you don't just see a lot. He was so loved by his family and friends. A man with an infectious laugh that loved to be surrounded by his friends. Tommy knew that he had problems in the past but you never expect someone to carry that with them. All that pain and self hate. Tommy has never been this close to someone that felt the only way out was to take their own life.
I have been here before. Grieving painfully over the loss of a friend that couldn't take it anymore. Its a demon that haunts me. I didn't know this man all that well but I still feel the pain. Its so hard to lose someone that you loved when they no longer saw the joy. Its so hard to understand.
"How they could do this to me."
It leaves a wave of pain and questions that will never have answers. Still, still there is the love. The love for the one that left and love for the ones left behind. The love of friends that will do anything to try and make the pain stop for those closest. The love of the closest for the one who made them cry. The love from strangers and distance. The love that restores faith in people. That makes the pain just a little easier to struggle through.
I have seen so much of that love this week. From the small things to the big. I am glad we were able to be there for T, for his family and his friends. From long, hard hugs to hosting 150 people at our house for lunch after the funeral. I hope it restored a little of that hole left by the loss of a friend. If you are able, please keep the Manon family in your thoughts and prayers. Their pain is immeasurable and every little bit helps.
*Suicide is never the answer. No matter how bad things are, no matter how much you hurt, no matter what happens there is always help. Please, call a friend or go to the ER. There are multiple outreach programs that can help as well. Life IS good and someone loves you more than you can even imagine.