Again. You would think that after all the shenanigans revolving around the last two moves we have made, that we would have learned to stay put. What with all the hospital stays and mini- van moving. Well, I guess technically I have but this time I have no choice. It's a move or be moved type of situation that is beyond my control. For those keeping track, this will be our seventh move since D was born and he is only 4 years old. Fun, right?
When we moved into this apartment, I thought it would be a forever place. It's a great neighborhood, close to family and friends. There is a pool for my little swimmy fish and plenty to do close to home unlike the last place we lived. The apartment itself is bigger than most of the houses in our price range were at the time too. We were lucky to even get this place as quickly as we did. Now we have to find a new little piece of heaven with little time and even littler money.
Moving is never ideal. Especially with young children. Beyond all the things that go along with young kids like toys and endless tiny socks, you have all the memories that go along with the place you are leaving behind. This place has been the bearer of a lot of fun for all of us. We lived in the same complex as my mother, which has been wonderful for the boys. They love their Nana. We have had adventures and enjoyed countless long evenings watching the rain or the stars from the playroom windows. We have shared snuggles that have healed wounds. Its these things that make it hard to leave.
Its also been a harbor of unspeakable grief. The loss of a child and of love happened here. These walls have seen more tears and hurt than they deserve. Than any of us deserve.They have seen me cry and hurt and scream out in emotional pain. They have seen the physical pain of D's broken arm of of my miscarriage. In these ways, its easy for me to walk away. To distance myself from the memories but not the lessons at least.
At any rate, we are headed out again. Packing up the good times and doing our best at weeding out the heart hardening memories. Trying to hold on to our sanity while we face the unknown path before us. Just my boys and me this time. Oh, and of course Bob- dog.
The three of us plus Bob, the musketeers, will be better off. That light at the end of the tunnel is only getting brighter. It's time to start our own adventure only this time we get to choose our own path. Our own adventure. For better or worse. Together, though, we have it all. No matter where we end up.